Morning Cardio

(blogger's note...this was written on December 22)

So there I was, trying to leave my house this morning to go to work... I had my hands full as usual: work bag, purse, coffee, gift for lady at work who does countless favors for me, gift that needs to be exchanged for correct size for needy family I'm adopting for Christmas, car keys, phone...you get the idea. I thought I had enough space/distance to get out the door before Jesse (my newest foster) could make it from the other side of the table to the door...alas I was mistaken.

She houdinied right through my legs and off she went. MIND YOU...today is the one freaking day that I have heels on...I never wear heels...at least not to work. But I have a memorial service to attend tonight for the son of a recently retired co-worker. Very sad story...but I digress...

So there I was...wearing heels and nice clothes...and hands full of stuff...and Jesse is a blur down the street. I drop everything and start running...and yelling her name...and trying every combination of "Jesse" "stop" "sit" "stay" "play dead" "come here right f*cking now" to which she is oblivious (pretty sure the neighbors are NOT though.)

I chase her from yard to yard to yard to yard, she's dodging me around trees, through fake fences (who the hell builds one section of a fence that is attached to nothing...and is really just a free standing section of chain link...stupid neighbors!), across the street to the Teco Yard, down the tree line (by the way, it's a really, really long tree line!) back across the street to a neighbor's house where she is attempting to say "hello" to the big ass dog behind the fence..she's really engaged with this dog (who looks like he wants to eat her) so I creep up and launch to pounce on her...and she's gone again...across the street to Riley's house...the basset hound...who's howling up a storm probably b/c I'm still yelling my fool head off (oh, by the way...I'm sick, been sick with a sinus infection/cough since last week...so running and yelling do not bode well for me right now...)

She squirrels herself around the house and winds up inside the screened in front porch (which by the way looks like a scene out of "Hoarders") so now I know I have her...because there's only one way out...and I'm certain she's looking at the piles of teetering crap and thinking suddenly what a bad idea it was to go in that particular porch...I call her name one more time and she creeps out to me...but looking past my shoulder to see if there is a way out.

Fortunately there is not, I grab her and start dragging her across the lawn back towards home when Riley's grandmother comes outside and says "were you calling me?" (ummm...yeah, I dragged my dog over here and called your name...by the way is your name really Jesse...instead of knocking on the door to greet you like a normal person)

Crazy Lady #1 ME: "No ma'am, I'm sorry...my dog is an escape artist and she ran into your porch...I was just getting her out of there (before she was crushed by the piles of crap you have in there) So sorry for bothering you" Crazier Lady #2 HER "Oh, I could have sworn someone was calling my name. I'm sure your dog just smelled my cats who live there." Crazy Lady #1 ME: (holy hell there are cats living in there...are you freaking kidding me?????) "No ma'am, again, sorry to bother you. Merry Christmas"

And I have no leash so I am holding on to Jesse's collar as she is lunging and jumping and trying to play still...and I am hyperventilating from the wind sprints around the neighborhood and doubled over as I'm now too tall to hold her collar and walk upright...so it takes 5 minutes to just get her back across the street to my front door... I am thankful that I put my "foster tag" on Jesse the night before (has my name and number and Troy's name and number, and our address, seen as most people in my neighborhood would NOT take the time to take a dog to be checked for a microchip)...I took her old family's tag off as it didn't even have her name on it, just a long distance number. Didn't even have her name on the tag.

Jesse is safely at home, I am certain my boy Patrick is having a little chat with her right now about how she better straighten up and fly right...because Momma Dianne doesn't put up with that nonsense.

Granted...I'm sure it's going in one ear and out the other...she is a pyr after all!! She's lucky she's cute...just saying.

Jessie the Wonder Puppy

The day Troy and I placed Pupkin and Belle with their new family we agreed to transport Miss Jessie back down to Tampa. She had traveled from Savannah to Jacksonville and was expected at a new home the following weekend.

Sure. No problem...we can transport. We had decided to wait a few weeks before we fostered a new dog. Partially because of the upcoming holidays. Partially because I think we both secretly hoped we'd get the girls back.

Cindi met us at the girls' new home...so we wouldn't have to do anymore driving on that Sunday. We got Jessie in our car and were happy to still have some white fur flying around...as we drove away from Pupkin and Belle.

Jessie was ALL puppy in the car, bouncing from window to window...trying to climb into the front seat. Eventually she wore herself out and slept most of the car ride home. I called Terry to let her know the adoption papers were signed and that I had Miss Jessie. She asked if I could just keep her til Tuesday, as she had an appointment to be spayed on Wednesday. Sure...we can do a few days. No problem!!

We finally make it back to Tampa...bring Jessie into the house...and Patrick (my golden retriever/shepherd mix...who's just slightly neurotic) greets us at the door. Only to realize we've come home with yet ANOTHER dog...without his approval. And this one BOUNCES...A LOT! Jessie is pinging all over the house...pouncing in front of Patrick...jumping up on Troy and I...and Patrick is just looking at us with contempt. I try to explain to Patrick that Jessie will only be with us a few days...and she needed a home...and that it won't be so bad. He slunk away to my bedroom to hide behind my bed.

Turns out Jessie had a bit of a cough...so surgery had to be delayed, medicine had to be picked up from Terry, Jessie will be spending a bit more time with us.

Pupkin and Belle

Better late than pregnant...that's my motto.

I have been fostering Great Pyrenees again since May 2010.

That's the day Pupkin and Belle came into my life. I met Lori at the Westshore Petco to get

the girls...and remembered quickly how difficult it is to drive with Pyrs in the back seat...or at least how difficult it is to see out your rearview mirror.

I'm sad (and mad at myself) that I haven't been very good about writing here. I had them for over 7 months...and I'm certain had I taken the time to write I would have some very funny stories. I can tell you that Belle is fearless and loveable and goofy...and Pupkin was very timid at first but quickly became "my girl." If I was gone from home for too long...upon my return she would crawl up into my lap and sit on me...I think in an effort to ensure that I did not leave again!

Belle was a bit overweight when we got her...144 lbs...and not at all happy with her new exercise regime and diet plan. To make up for what she was lacking in kibble...she started eating socks. And dish towels. And she devised a plan that at feeding time she would wolf down all her food...and start barking to get Pupkin and Patrick to leave their food bowls to see what the barking was about...and she'd dive into thier food. They eventually caught on...but it took a few days. Belle's a smart girl. She even tried it with Troy and I once or twice.

When that plan stopped working she decided she'd just take what she wanted. You could be sitting there with plate in hand, gnoshing on lasagna...and if you looked away from your plate to say...chew and swallow...she'd seize the moment and gulp down whatever she could get her mouth around. More than once I had my hand down her throat in an attempt to retrieve a garlic roll or piece of meat...sometimes I won...sometimes I lost. Always I ended up covered in doggie slobber. Never once did Belle growl or bite or act aggressive...she just tried to dig in and hold on to that savory morsel of food.

And we discovered pretty quickly that the girls DO NOT LIKE RAIN. They didn't even like when the deck or grass was wet....they would NOT go outside in such horrid conditions. Living in Florida...it rains...a lot. Troy or I would have to resort to leashing them and walking them around the backyard until they did their business. Not sure if they were training us...but it worked.

Recently the girls found their fur-ever homes. Mike and Toni, a nice couple from Jacksonville. Two other dogs in the house and five cats. So far things seem to be going well. When he took the girls in to meet their new vet he reported back that Belle was down to 127 lbs...how svelte!! It was a very hard day...driving them to Jacksonville...actually, driving away was the hard part.

I still miss them every day...